


Solace

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s06e16 Drought Conditions, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-09
Updated: 2005-04-09
Packaged: 2019-05-15 21:03:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: She would not let him go.





	Solace

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Solace**

**by: IDreamOfAJ**

**Characters:** CJ,Toby  
**Pairing:** CJ/Toby  
**Category:** Post-Episode (Drought Conditions)   
**Rating:** ADULT  
**Summary:** She would not let him go.  
**Author's Note:** For Angie. As it always is. And for Claire and Kimberly and Kate. You all inspire me. 

They were silent. Almost. Their breathing sounded deafening in the still room. He was still above her, now unable to keep all his weight from her. His eyes were clear, where hers were glistening with unshed tears. She held his shoulders as tightly as she had before, during. After what seemed an eternity, but was no more than a minute, Toby gently eased himself out of her and moved to his side. He tried to look down, away. But her eyes held his even as she turned her face to him. She brought her hands to his face and pulled his head to her shoulder. CJ stroked the curls just above his neck and held him close. She would not let him go. Not tonight. Not this time.

~*~

“Toby, what are you… what’s going on?”

“I’m writing notes for the meeting with Sutherland on the farm buyouts.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

CJ moved from the doorway of his office and closed the door. She would not be deterred from his refusal to look up, to look at her. She stood in front of his desk, arms at her side, resisting the temptation to place her hands on her hips.

“Toby.”

“CJ.”

“What are you doing?”

“I just told you, I… .”

“Don’t. Not this time. I know something’s going on. I know you’re up to something and you’re trying very hard not to show it. But, I can tell. So, what are you doing?”

“Does it bother you at all that half the staff is gone?”

“What?”

“You and me. We’re all that’s left. And with the exception of Sam, everybody left to campaign for people who either don’t have a chance in hell or aren’t worth the effort.”

“Josh?”

“What happened to talking about the issues? What happened to running into walls?”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about CJ.”

“You do. Who is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have things to do, so if you’re finished playing amateur detective… .”

“You can tell me, you know.”

His silence and the scratching of his pen were her only response.

“Fine. But, Toby, don’t… don’t get disappointed.”

And with that she left the room leaving the door open.

~*~

Unseasonably warm for February. At least that’s what the weatherman had said. It wasn’t warm, exactly. But, not as cold as it should have been. She felt clammy. Itching to get out of her skin. She watched as Toby poured more than two measures of scotch in his glass and swallowed quickly. She ignored his pouring the second in favor of going to the bedroom. He would come when he was ready. And she was chaffing at the dress and the nylons and her own body.

The water felt good as it splashed over her face, her breasts, her hips. She heard the door and saw him through the frosted glass. He leaned against the counter and didn’t look her way. She rinsed the conditioner out of her hair and stood for minutes just feeling the water on her back, her ass, her legs. She sighed and turned off the water. As she opened the door he handed her a towel.

~*~

Margaret’s announcement that she had an Adina Kauffmann on the phone sent a chill up her spine. It took her a few moments to realize that Margaret was standing there, waiting for an answer.

“What line?”

She pressed the button and took a deep breath.

“Adina?”

She placed the receiver down in the cradle and stood. She told Margaret to cancel her meeting. Or move it. Or something. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be. She was in his doorway a moment later. She quietly closed the door and tried to pretend that she was back to discuss his moonlighting, as she had been a few weeks ago. It didn’t work.

He looked up and she saw his shoulders tense.

“Who?”

“Adina. She told me. Oh Toby.”

“Why?”

“Toby?”

“Why did she call you? I already told her I was fine. I told her I would be there as soon as I could. Did she think I wouldn’t?”

“No. Your sister loves you. She’s in New York surrounded by family. And you’re here.”

She didn’t say alone. Though she had thought it. But he wasn’t alone. Not really. She was there. For whatever that was worth. He looked smaller to her.

“Carol’s getting the first flight.”

“I need to finish this. I’ll go tonight.”

“No. Toby you need to go home. You need to be with them. The boys must… .”

His intake of breath and the sharp look in his eyes stopped her.

“It won’t take me long to get some clothes. I can meet you at the airport and… .”

“No!”

His harsh tone and feral look shocked her. Her mouth was open, but no words came forth.

“You’re not coming, CJ. I can do this alone.”

“You don’t have to, Toby.”

“Yes, I do. You have enough to do here.”

“They can manage.”

“You’re not coming with me CJ. Do you understand? I don’t want you to come.”

He was yelling, and even through the closed door she was sure everyone outside this room was listening uncomfortably. She hoped Margaret was taking care of it. Or Leo.

“I shouldn’t have yelled. I just… I need to do this alone. Can you understand that?”

She thought of herself in the same situation and thought she wouldn’t be able to move if he weren’t there. But they’re very different people. And she trusts him to do what’s best.

“If you’re sure?”

“I am.”

“Okay, well get out of here then. I’ll have Carol book the tickets and call you with the airline. Take as much time as you need.”

She went to him and placed her hand on his upper arm. She squeezed and her voice was a whisper.

“Call me.”

His reply was only a nod, but it would do. His words as she was almost out the door stopped her.

“I’ll tell Ann and the boys you send your love.”

She smiled and blinked the tear away before it could fall.

“I’m sorry, Toby.”

“I know.”

~*~

She dropped the towel on the floor. She didn’t need to look at him to know his eyes were traveling her body. She could feel his heat from the other side of the room. She pulled on the terrycloth robe she’d had for years and went back to the living room in search of the drink she was sure he had left for her. She found it on the coffee table. She turned, prepared to head back to the bedroom, but he had followed her. So, she collapsed onto the couch and brought her legs up underneath her. She watched as he prowled around, looking at the photos on the mantle and the books on the shelves. She resisted the urge to turn on the television to break the silence.

She knew he didn’t want to talk. That’s not why he had come back with her. And that was fine. He’d already said so much today. But, he wasn’t ready to let go yet either. So she sipped her drink and watched him pace.

~*~

“What did she say?”

“Who?”

“Rafferty.”

“How did you… ?”

“Not amateur, my friend. Not amateur at all.”

He took the glass of champagne from her and drank. She could get another one as far as he was concerned.

“Is she going to drop?”

“Hmm.”

“Nothing.”

“She could have had a shot at the Vice Presidency. But she wants to speak.”

“I can see how that would appeal to you.”

He ignored her remark and looked around the room. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of Will and Kate talking animatedly and nudged CJ with his elbow. She rolled her eyes.

“Why is Cliff Calley talking to the President?”

“I hired him.”

“For what?”

“Deputy.”

“That seems… fitting.”

She knew that the rift with Josh would be a long time in healing. And she knew that it was petty, but even she was amused with the idea that the one who had slept with Donna was taking the job of the one who hadn’t. Apparently, Toby was as well.

“How much longer before we can leave?”

“Another hour at least. I’m gonna get the President out of here in a few minutes. And we should stay after that. But… .”

“What?”

“Well, if you wanted to go. Or just hide in your office or something.”

“I’m fine. Just don’t let him near me and we’re okay.”

“Okay.”

~*~

His stalking of the room ended finally when he took her wrist and pulled her from the couch. He led her back to the bedroom and placed their glasses on the nightstand. He released the tie at her waist and pushed the robe off her shoulders. She let it fall to the floor. His eyes bored into her until she felt that not even her skin was left. She felt relief. He stepped close, pressing his body against hers. She felt his erection straining through the fabric of his dress pants. His hands went to her breasts and he began to knead, like a cat she thought. Like a panther. His breath next to her ear sent shivers down her back.

“I told Rafferty about the pennies.”

Her legs parted slightly and her fingers clutched the material of his shirt. One of his hands trailed down her stomach. Her knees locked as his fingers curved downward and slipped into her wetness.

“You should have had them in your pocket when Josh came to see you.”

He had two fingers moving gently in and out while his thumb circled her clit roughly. She felt more alive than she had in months.

“You think?”

Her head bowed to his shoulder as his pace increased. He added a third finger to his assault and she moaned.

“Yeah. At least then you would have looked like the winner.”

He pushed his thumb hard against her and her knees gave way as she came. Panting, she ripped a button off his shirt as the waves crashed through her. He held her upright as he continued to move his fingers. In and out.

~*~

“You want some water?”

“No.”

“Scotch?”

“No.”

“You want me to go?”

“No.”

Silence.

~*~

She left him to turn the covers down. He stood for a moment, just watching her body move. Slowly he removed the undone tie, the shirt, the shoes and socks and pants. Until he was standing in his undershirt and shorts. She was on the bed, propped up with pillows. Just watching.

When the last of his clothes were on the floor he went to the bed. He had lost weight in the futile attempt at reconciliation with his ex-wife, but CJ seemed appreciative. She ran her hands along his thighs as he kneeled next to her. She sat up, nails pushing against his skin. Her tongue circled his ear and followed the path down his neck. She avoided the beard. She’d always said it was ‘scratchy’. Her hands were tense, hard, against his thighs, but they did not move. She sucked at his Adam’s apple and he growled. This wouldn’t be fast. And for that he was grateful. His fingers wound through her hair as she raised her head. Her eyes reflecting the streetlight coming through the window behind him. He realized the light was still on in the bathroom. And then he realized that he didn’t care. 

Her teeth grazed his lower lip. She bit down almost enough to break the skin, to draw blood. Almost, but not quite. He felt fire rip through his stomach. She parted his lips with her tongue. Their lips pressed together, teeth knocking against teeth. Her tongue exploring the roof of his mouth. One hand moved to her neck, the other to her shoulder, trying to get closer, trying to engulf her, immerse himself in her. Trying to lose himself or heal himself, he wasn’t sure.

~*~

She wasn’t sure how long they’d been there. A foot apart but closer than they’d been in years. She knew he needed space and presence. She understood how much harder this was for him than it would have been for anyone else. Not the loss, though that was hard. But the needing, the wanting, the comfort from her was almost more than he could bear, but need it he did. Accepting it was more than she thought possible of him. And it was this that let her know how hurt he was. How raw the pain.

When his tears had stopped and he’d crunched another piece of ice he turned towards her searching for something. She didn’t think he even knew what he was looking for in her eyes. But she reached out anyway. And he grasped her hand in both of his. She moved closer and put her other hand on his arm. 

“I don’t know why he did it.”

“Toby, he was… .”

“Josh.”

She was at a loss. So she stayed quiet and waited.

“All he had to do was talk to me. That’s it.”

Ah. It made sense to her now. She knew why they’d fought. Or at least why Toby had fought so fiercely that Margaret had been scared.

“Sometimes people make mistakes, Toby.”

“You don’t leave. You just don’t walk away.”

He left the rest unspoken. You don’t leave, you don’t walk away like his father and his brother. And Josh.

“Well now it’s gonna make it hard for me to go to back to work, you know. Hard to do without walking away.”

He stared at her a moment and then burst out laughing. He could trust her with things not even Andrea had seen. And he knew that she would keep them safe. And he reminded himself that she had never really left. Not in the way it was important. He laughed for a long time.

~*~

He bent low over her body, kissing her stomach and running his hands down her sides. His hands moved down to between her legs and he pulled them apart, spreading her out before him. The breath caught in his throat looking at her, eyes hooded, hair splayed across the pillow and a slight smile on her lips. He caressed her inner thighs and smiled as he felt the muscles ripple in anticipation.

He crawled up her body while her legs shifted farther apart to accommodate his own. He paused at her breasts, sucking one then the other until her nipples were stone. Her hands were restless in the sheets, pulling and pushing, never settling. He raised his head and looked at the invitation in her eyes. He accepted.

~*~

He was alone with his brother. Or what was left of his brother. The room was quiet save for the ticking of a clock that echoed from the hallway. He couldn’t look at his brother. And he couldn’t look away.

Gone.

He clenched his fists, not for the first time, and bit his tongue against the rage and the pain and the fear.

He sat with his brother. He kept the vigil.

~*~

He pushed into her in one stroke. Her intake of breath stilled him and he waited for her to adjust, to hold him inside comfortably. He felt the heat of her engulf him. The scent of her arousal surrounded him. He pulled back and pushed in again. He waited for the buck of her hips to encourage him to further movement. Her hips rocked against his. He began slowly moving in and out, letting her counter the rhythm. She brought her hands to his upper arms for leverage. But his need was greater than his patience and his movements increased so that he was plunging into her. She bent her knees, her feet pressing against the mattress to keep up with him. He slammed into her forcefully, coming inside as his breath came out in a rush. He kept moving, trying to bring her with him until he brought a hand between them. She was slick and his fingers moved easily around her clit. Her stomach tightened and he gave all he had until she was shuddering below him. He was panting and she was breathing through her mouth.

They were silent. Almost. Their breathing sounded deafening in the still room. He was still above her, now unable to keep all his weight from her. His eyes were clear, where hers were glistening with unshed tears. She held his shoulders as tightly as she had before, during. After what seemed an eternity, but was no more than a minute, Toby gently eased himself out of her and moved to his side. He tried to look down, away. But her eyes held his even as she turned her face to him. She brought her hands to his face and pulled his head to her shoulder. CJ stroked the curls just above his neck and held him close. She would not let him go. 

Not tonight. 

Not this time.

The End


End file.
